


Romance in Necromancy

by midnightsharks



Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Knights - Freeform, M/M, Medieval Fantasy, Necromancy, Undead, Wizards, faulty letters, undead animal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-18
Updated: 2017-06-18
Packaged: 2018-11-12 17:28:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11166609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/midnightsharks/pseuds/midnightsharks
Summary: Despite what his wizard friend Merlin thought, Harry didn't see any problems with his communication whatsoever. That was before a knight barged into his fortress and declared his romantic intentions.A tale of magic, zombie emissaries, wizards, knights, accidental hero-worship and faulty messaging system.





	Romance in Necromancy

**Author's Note:**

> I made this while I was stuck on my other fic.
> 
> Not beta read. sorry.

_There ought to be a law against cheaters._

That was the necromancer’s thoughts as he watched the fight unfold between his guards and the new challenger inside the confines of his magical stronghold.

It was hardly called a fight– the death mage frowned in annoyance. The knight didn’t engage combat. Instead,he evaded all attacks from his undead sentinels and moved another level up his tower. He ignored the large rooms where powerful artifacts were kept and guarded by monsters .

Harry had been around long enough to know how the game worked. If he wins, he collects the magical weapons and potions left by his enemy and if he likes his challenger enough, they get to be revived to be part of his army of undead.

If he’s defeated like the last time he literally lost his head against the assassin and warlock tag team, he waits for a few years then he resurrects and recoups his losses.

Things were predictable until now.

Knights were straightforward. They whack through his odd legion of zombies and monsters ,gathering a bit of experience and loot before facing him in the highest tower of his fortress. Were it not for the armor and twin sabres, Harry would have thought that his challenger was of the thief class.

Knights certainly don’t move gracefully like that. Harry mused as the challenger made a quick climb on the narrow hallway to escape a berserker and did a fancy flip , landing on another level.

Shame he would not last long. Only the strongest of fighters survived his hellhound.

—–

“ I’m sorry I killed your dog.”

It was the last thing that the Harry expected to hear from his challenger. Mr. Pickle would be revived soon after he defeated this upstart. 

He gathered his dark magic around him but the knight didn’t lift his swords in defense. Curious indeed.

“I’ve been wanting to meet you. ”, the knight said. “ I saw you in Marraketh a few months ago.” Harry did not recall raining down plague in that area though he did buy two bolts of lovely silk and a carpet there.

“ Have you come to collect a bounty on my head then? ”, Harry replied,“Something to add for bards to sing of your glory and bravery? ” His wards were on place and ready to attack at his command.

His challenger snorted.“I’m nothin’ like that .”

Revenge then? 

“ You never get my letters, do you?” The knight asked.

“ We do not allow unsolicited mails.” It was the job of his minions to ensure that nothing gets past through them. He’s had enough of messages requesting his resurrection services not to mention recruitment letters from another dark lord in the making.

The knight looked sheepish. “ That sorta explains it then. ”

The necromancer waved his hand to dispel magic. Nothing made sense in this fight anymore and he couldn’t afford accidentally killing the knight without knowing what the hell was going on lest he’ll be wondering about this encounter for the next decade or so.

“Are we going to stand around all day or are we going to fight?” Harry snapped.

“ I can’t do that!” The knight exclaimed. “ Not when I’m trying to woo you.”

—–

Harry couldn’t resist telling the incident to his fellow mage over tea and biscuits.

“And you let this knight go several levels in your tower and laugh at him when he told you he was courting you.” Merlin concluded.

“ Of course, ” Harry waved his hand in dismissal, “ the thought was utterly ridiculous.” This was supposed to be a funny story. Merlin didn’t consider the tale amusing but instead was judging him for it. The killjoy.

“ Oh, yes, of course. Someone as reprehensible and vile as you could not be attractive to anyone especially a young knight.”

“That is sarcasm,” Harry declared. Then his eyes narrowed in suspicion,“ You know him, don’t you.”

“ Gary "Eggsy" Unwin. One of the youngest knights in King Arthur’s court. ” Merlin replied,“I sent a letter to you by raven to let you know that he’s on his way but after everything you told me, your minions probably ate my messenger.” 

“ Must have been undead by now,” Harry referred to his friend’s raven.

There was a long pause in their conversation.

“Why does he like me,Merlin?” Harry inquired as casually as possible. 

Merlin gave him a look as if to say _‘does it even matter now?’_ and Harry took the time to fold the napkin in front of him. He was not going ask again. That would be desperate.

“Well, I must be going.” Merlin stood and Harry wanted to throw his teacup at him.

“You scoundrel!” Harry growled.

“He said that you saved his and his father’s life when he was a child. It made an impression on him.”

“That doesn’t sound like me.” Harry was a necromancer. Death mages don’t go around doing heroic deeds. They tend to stay in the sanctuary of darkness, flourishing amongst the dead and the rotting. Like fungus.

“ I agree but his description of you was spot on: From your foppish hair up to the way you dramatically flourished your cape when you cast your spell.” Merlin glared at him intently and crossed his arms.“ I have been telling you for the longest time to fix your messaging system. People can’t get to you. I can’t talk to you. I have to expend a lot of magic just appear in your castle and have tea with you,” he gestured at their little table topped with Harry’s special afternoon tea set.

“I reach out to you but you ignore me,"Harry sulked.

” If you bothered to communicate through dreams, portals or even letters, I might consider answering you back. But as it stands, I am incinerating any undead you send my way.“

And with that Merlin disappeared.

—–

Harry was not going to think about it. There was no use in contemplating romantic possibilities based on ambiguous terms. 

Yet there he was, venturing down the deepest level of his fortress to find the remnants of letters and packages intercepted by his guards.

The endless stairs and labyrinth passages provided Harry exercise to keep him physically fit. Being a member of the 'dark side’ was no excuse to let go of ones appearance. 

The concept of 'dark or light side' was highly overrated among magic wielders. It was much of a phase rather than a lifestyle since most of the mages tend to live for centuries or get resurrected every now and then. 

Harry was into nature magic when he was younger. He lived in the forest and took the appearance of a stag occasionally and wielded butterfly-like magic on his spell casting. However, Valentine ruined it for him with the mage’s aggressive use of colors and extreme views on the environment. Besides Harry had begun to lean his interest on the 'preservation’ aspect of magic. As for Merlin, the poor guy had a legendary name to live up to so he worked hard to be the top of his game til he ran out of fucks to give.

Dungeon torches lit up as Harry passed by. He stopped and frowned when he saw bones and other debris littered on the floor. 

 _' This simply won't do. '_ Harry thought. His last cleaner must have disintegrated years ago as it was made out of biodegradable mass . 

Harry snapped his fingers and bones gathered, forming into a skeletal spider-like monster.

After muttering some incantations, he set the creature off to clean the area.

The bottom of his basement was filled with skeletons, armors, weapons, and all kinds of unsorted knickknacks. 

He walked steadily on uneven ground, feeling the tremors beneath his feet. It had been too long since his last visit. His Wyrms must have missed him terribly.

Black spindly serpents surfaced under the debris. Harry patted their slick heads and cooed as they slithered around him. He sat and leaned back against the bigger ones while he waited for the smaller Wyrms to fetch the confiscated mails for him.

There were the usual spam, invites from balls of decades late, Merlin’s box of cookies devoid of cookies, and threats from extinct kingdoms.

He skimmed through the junk mail, ignoring the falling bones and trash thrown in by his new janitor.

Something caught his eye.

It was a letter full of holes. The writing was faded but the word 'Unwin’ was still visible. He opened the letter and read. The words were written in squiggly childish lines. 

 

_To Mr. Harry the Bonehoarder,_

_  
_

_I am Gary Unwin but friends call me Eggsy. You don’t know me but my dad and I thank for helping us in Blackroad ._

Harry put down the letter as the memories of the incident came upon him. He was dueling with a wizard near that place when an errant magic blasted a group of men, killing them instantly.

_You rescued us from the bandits who tried to rob and murder us._

That was an accident.

_My dad said that it is hard to find a kind-hearted ~~neccru~~ ~~zombie fairy~~ death wizard such as you._

Very rare indeed.

_I wanted to be like you when I grow up but mum says magic schools cost a lot. I’m good in other stuff. I can fight and fast on my feet. I hope I can find employ as a soldier and get to travel._

 

The rest of the pages were missing.

Harry scoured for other letters from Eggsy and pieced together some paragraphs from different correspondences. The succeeding letters were more recent and from the looks of the handwriting, Eggsy had grown up.

–

 

_I got knighted as Galahad today. My dad would be proud if he were still alive._

_Our royal wizard, Merlin, taught us a lot of tricks. He says he knows you . My magic is not as good as yours but they're enough to protect me from simple hexes. The other knights aren't into spells and say that magic users are sneaky cheats. I don't believe none of them. There's you and Merlin to prove them wrong._

_I have been writing to you and got used to you not sending anything back. The first time I sent you a letter, the whole village panicked saying that you'll send the undead army to our way. I told you about it in my other letters in case you missed it._

_What I am getting at is that if you don't like them then you could have cursed me years before but you didn't._

_It's a good sign I guess._

–

_I don’t know anyone else to talk to._

_My hands stink of blood for weeks. We've been journeying back from our battle with the orcish horde. For green skinned creatures, their blood and insides are as red as ours._

_The whole kingdom welcomed us when we arrived and the bards sang of our bravery and victory. I drowned the noise with my drinking._

_What makes a monster?_

_Percival and the older knights keep telling us there is no glory in war. It didn't make sense til now._

–

_I pick up my swords again._

_I don't like it but I find my purpose as a knight is to protect those who can't fend for themselves._

_News reach us of a plague infestation in Ra Engul . It turns people into rabid ghouls and we have to contain it before it spreads to other villages. Merlin gave us some potions before our mission to counter any effects of the plague. Even our most conservative of knights accepted it._

_There are worse things than being dead after all._

–

_Charlie is acting like a prat again. Struts his broadsword like it's his dick. He almost lopped my head off during our battle in Ra Engul._

_The scourge reminded me of you. Not that you had anything to do with it, but I was thinking you may have some tip or two when dealing with ghouls and undead._

_I told Merlin that I have been writing to you for the longest time._

_He said that my letters have better chances crossing the River Styx than reaching your address._

–

_I saw you in Marraketh the other day. At that time, I was in the company of the king and courtiers. It would be easy for me to jump from the balcony to run up and meet you but when I excused myself, you were no longer in sight._

_You look gorgeous. I admired you for saving us when I was young and had grown into habit of writing to you._

_I want to see you but I can't pretend that I only wish for friendship._

–

Harry leaned back his head and closed his eyes.

This was a case of accidental hero worship. A grand Gordian knot of errors and misunderstanding. He couldn’t decide if he ought to set things straight with the knight or let things be.

After all, he had scorned Eggsy when they met. What else was there to talk about?

—–

The day stunk. Literally.

The noonday heat filled the air with sweat, blood and rotting corpses.

Crows swooped down the skies to feast on the remains of a bloody battle.

Some of King Arthur’s army rested to tend their wounds while the rest finished off any enemy survivors.

Eggsy didn’t bother to stand up from where he fell from his last fight. He was alright but too exhausted to get up and move to a suitable location. 

For weeks he had joined several campaigns, hoping to forget about the disastrous encounter with the necromancer.

It was foolish to think a few letters and a visit would make the death mage like him.

” Eggsy.“

Eggsy swung his sword, slitting the enemy’s neck. He acted on instinct and only realized lately that the man should have already been dead.

He looked down from which he lay to see the spear still impaled in his foe’s stomach. The dead man turned his head and called his name again but the sound drowned as blood gurgled out of its mouth and throat.

At Eggsy’s periphery, he saw Pellinore walking towards him. It would have been fine except there was an ax stuck on top of his skull.

"It’s me. Harry.”

Eggsy lowered his sword, recognizing the necromancer’s voice.

“What are you doing here?”

Pellinore’s corpse sat beside him.

“ I came to apologize for my appalling manners. ”

Eggsy shrugged, “ I shouldn’t have assumed anything anyway."He looked away, partly in embarrassment and also because of how uncomfortable it was for Harry’s gentle voice to come out of Pellinore’s pallid lips.

” I read your letters.“

Whatever Eggsy was about to say was interrupted when an arrow pierced between the undead’s eyes, splitting the head into two.

The other knights, especially Charlie aka Bedivere, was screaming dark sorcery and ordering all bodies be burnt to ashes.

—–

A few weeks passed, Eggsy returned to the castle keep in Camelot.

At night, a soft tap in Eggsy’s bedroom window roused him from his sleep.

A stray cat, recently dead from starvation, slipped through as Eggsy opened the window.

” You do not find me unsettling,“ Harry spoke through the cat.

"It’s weird,” Eggsy replied,“ but I somehow got used to it.

Days following the conversation at the battlefield, Harry continued to send his undead emissaries to talk to Eggsy.

It took a great amount of effort to persuade his peers that the necromancer meant no harm. They were eventually convinced when Harry assisted their defenses in an ambush.

Still Eggsy was asked to return home earlier than others, with the rest of the knights protesting that they’ve had enough of lovesick zombies following them.

” I have plans to go to Marraketh again in a fortnight.“ 

"It’s near here. ” Eggsy realized.

“I know.” Harry purred. Or at least Eggsy thought it was the cat. “I am not adverse to us meeting again. That is if you want to.”

“Yes, of course, I’d love to see you again, Harry.” Eggsy grinned. 

—–

Harry cried out in pleasure. His seed spurting out and spilling on Eggsy’s stomach.

Eggsy flipped him,  pressing his back against the mattress. Harry keened in overstimulation as Eggsy fucked him hard and fast til he reached his peak.

They panted in exhaustion, breathes mingling , waiting to steady their heart beats.

Eggsy pulled out his softened cock and rolled off Harry.

After the stunned silence, Harry finally spoke, “That was...unexpected.”

Eggsy, also still in shock, could only nod in agreement.

Harry intended to have a friendly dinner and proper conversation with the knight at the inn where he was staying.

As for Eggsy, he wanted to talk about the letters and Harry. Since there was no or little chance of courtship, they could at least be good acquaintances. 

Such plans went up in flames the moment they saw each other.

Any thoughts of friendly talk, slipped into romance and nosedived into lust. They exchanged smiles over appetizers, trading double meaning phrases, knees brushing under the table when they dined on their entrees. Harry’s hand caressed Eggsy’s as the knight told a funny tale. Eggsy’s gaze burned dark staring at way Harry licked an errant drop of wine from his lips.

They didn’t make it to dessert. Racing up the staircase, they stumbled into Harry’s room to kiss and make out.

“ You don’t think it’s another mistake, do you?” Eggsy faced Harry, closely studying his expression.

“ Us getting together was borne out accidents and errors,” Harry took Eggsy’s hand and kissed the knuckles,“ but it is something I’ll never regret.”

Eggsy chuckled and soundly kissed him.


End file.
